Although the pandemic is sometimes blamed, the pre-covid world was also like this. In a 2019 survey, 9 out 10 of 18-24 year olds interviewed reported that they had experienced loneliness to some degree, with almost 1 in 4 suffering often. In a 2019 YouGov poll, 69% of 13-19 year olds said they had felt alone 'often' or 'sometimes' in the last fortnight.
It can be hard to maintain good mental health if you’re lonely, so what can we do? There are no easy answers but here are five things that might help.
Shut down the shame
- There’s nothing wrong with you, as the statistics show, regardless of how others appear to be living it up on social media, many people often feel lonely and we all feel lonely sometimes.
Know yourself
- Think about how much and when socialising is right for you. Some people need a lot of alone time, others feel better when they’re with others and this may change for all of us from day to day and moment to moment. If you’re not feeling it, a social event can be a very lonely place. Aim to make the right choice for you.
Search
- Search for what and who makes you feel good in yourself. Your interests and activities related to them can be a starting point and organised groups are a way of being with people and finding out more about them, whether or not you make friends.
Keep trying
- You will hang out with people without this leading to long-lasting relationships and not everyone will treat you well. As with everything – practice makes perfect. You can only get better at knowing who is best for you, through experience. It can be hard to keep going back out there when we feel people have let us down but life is surprising. You never know what brilliant times might be possible with the next person you meet.
Enjoy time on your own
- Make the best of time on your own when (yay!) you don’t have to deal with what anyone else thinks or wants. As Brian Jackson and Gil Scott Heron say “It's your world… and what you see was not meant for me. It's your world. But you don't have to be lonely 'cause in your world you are truly free!”
This article was written by Tonia Mihill, Head of Therapeutic Services at MAP